Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
