dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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