wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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