I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
