I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
