nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize