new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
