All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
