Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
