He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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