erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
