Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
