Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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