I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
