U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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