So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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