Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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