In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
