I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
