He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
