Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
