It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
