Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
