You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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