so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
