So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
