At least make sure they are 18
Why
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
