I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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