Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
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