Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
