I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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