if i died would you start the facebook group?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
