I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize