I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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