paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I don't want my vagina anymore.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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