i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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