On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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