you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize