So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
i now understand why vodka
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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