I feel like abortions should bother me more
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
