why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
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