Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
