WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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