just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
