Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
