Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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