I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
