when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
