My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
