My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
