i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Floor bacon is actually really good
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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