I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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