Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
