Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
