yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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