i just google imaged poop.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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