Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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