U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
