We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I just want to make out with him forever
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize