No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
