adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
