We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
