Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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