Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Randomize
