the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
His nipple licking is glorious
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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