I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
