So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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