There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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