My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
