your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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