Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
