so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
