I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
