Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Randomize
