I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize