exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
